Our son will be 5 this year. We have been contemplating whether or not to have another child (or more children for that matter) but we finally decided to try.
As with our son, it didn't take long for conception to happen. Mama is now pregnant, and as before she is experiencing pregnancy sickness. This time, it's even worse that there are times when I actually feel regret of impregnating her. It's not funny at all.
I should probably get a vasectomy.
A normal Dad with normal family might feel nothing when it comes to expecting a child. For them, they already have the experience. However, I am quite terrified. Friends in Facebook ask me why I am terrified but they can only try to understand my explanation.
Dear son has improved in being more considerate, independently creating artworks (paintings, Play-Doh modeling), eating using utensils, singing, humming, speaking, imagining, etc.
However he still has a lot to improve, and still requires a lot of attention especially since he hasn't been potty-trained and requires assistance to take a bath.
With Mama being unwell, I have to take on a lot of work and as an Aspie it's really heart-breaking to see Mama sick, and to push son away when he requires attention.
Due to the nature of my work, I can sometimes work from home although it is frowned upon by the leadership. During the day, I do what I can by squeezing time here and there to help out with house work. During the night, I still do what I can until son sleeps at around 1-2 AM, sometimes 3 AM.
Then I'll continue doing some of my work until I become too sleepy, and then wake up in the morning for another fresh but sleepy day.
The truth is when son is around he only requires simple attention like playing or listening to his story or explanation about what he sees. However when I am working in front of the computer it's really hard to focus and I end up ignoring him or simply responding with a nod.
It is heart-wrenching to do that.
I am unsure whether other parents feel the same way, or be able to still focus on work while responding to their children.
All I know is that I am trying my best to be a husband and father, and to provide as much as possible for the family I love so much.
- Abah
A little family of t̶h̶r̶e̶e̶ four in Malaysia, discovering life with Asperger syndrome, Autism, and Amblyopia. This is our little diary. This website is anonymously written by Abah (Abah is Dad in Malay) but if you try hard enough you can track our real personalities. Not that we want you to, we are simply asking that you not to try. This blog might look outdated from time to time while we deal with life...